Funny Iron Man and Hawkeye Quotes
Most Memorable Iron Man Quotes In The MCU
Marvel Studios/Disney
The current era of the MCU is without Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.). His legacy lives on, though as he's still mentioned in the newest films, and the world continues to honor his sacrifice. Easily one of the wittiest Avengers, Tony Stark knew how to handle himself in an argument all while delivering crafty digs. Not only was he hilarious, but he was also profound. So often, Tony was the voice of reason or said what others were too afraid to say.
Starring in nine films over 11 years, Tony gave us plenty of quotes that will live on in our memories forever. From one-liners to heartfelt messages, Downey delivered it all, and we've compiled a list of his 23 best quotes from across the MCU to showcase Iron Man's best moments. There's a memorable quote here for each of Tony's major MCU appearances (minus one), but some movies are much more prevalent on our compilation than others. (Let's just say you won't be seeing too many "Iron Man 2" quotes here.) Take a scroll through our list and see if your favorite Iron Man line made the cut.
"I'm sorry, Earth is closed today"
Disney+/Marvel Studios
When it comes to one-liners, Tony Stark has a scene chock full of them in "Avengers: Infinity War." After Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) brings Tony to the Sanctum Sanctorum, Wong (Benedict Wong) gives him and Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo) a crash course on the Infinity Stones. As the foursome discusses Thanos (Josh Brolin) and his looming threat, they notice chaos erupting outside on the streets.
Tony is the first to go out to see what's going on, and he eventually comes upon Ebony Maw and Cull Obsidian of Thanos' Black Order. Once Ebony Maw starts talking about the Avengers members' impending death, Tony cuts him off, saying, "I'm sorry, Earth is closed today." He then tells him he needs to pack up and "get out of here." Ebony Maw then directs his speech to Doctor Strange, calling him Stone Keeper, and Stephen also lets Thanos' sycophant know he's trespassing on Earth. Tony's line is just one of three incredibly hilarious quips in this scene, all of which deserve their own spot on our list.
"That's how dad did it. That's how America does it. And it's worked out pretty well so far"
Marvel Studios/Disney
We learned just how crafty Tony Stark could be with his character's debut in "Iron Man." The movie's beginning opens with the billionaire's trip to Afghanistan, where Tony is in presenting his Jericho missile to the United States Army.
With a towering mountain range behind him, Tony gives his delightful spiel to the top brass. He remarks that "they" say the best weapon is the one that never has to be fired. Naturally, Tony disagrees, saying, "I prefer the weapon you only have to fire once." It's here that he delivers the iconic "Iron Man" line, quipping, "That's how dad did it. That's how America does it. And it's worked out pretty well so far." Tony then presents the Jericho missile, followed by an equally iconic moment when the blast force of the explosion blows off the hats of the nearby officers.
"And ... I am ... Iron Man"
Marvel Studios/Disney
This quote is really two rolled in one — the first just doesn't have the word "and" in it. In the first "Iron Man," the film ends with Tony declaring to the world, "I am Iron Man." This moment is important for so many reasons. This is the first superhero name mentioned in the MCU; it marks the reveal of our first Avenger and is the moment Earth is officially introduced to a superhero.
It all comes full circle in the finale of "Avengers: Endgame." Once Thanos has all the stones, he tells Tony, "I am inevitable," a line he previously says in the film. Little does the Titan know Tony has already stolen the Infinity Stones from him. Once the colorful gems light up and fall into place on Tony's suit, he responds back, "And ... I am ... Iron Man." While his last words ever are a whispered "Hey, Pep," many will remember his superhero declaration as his final goodbye.
"Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?"
Marvel Studios/Disney
In the first "Avengers" movie, Iron Man first meets Thor in the woods, where they fight over custody of Loki. Cap eventually joins in the fun as well, and the three superheroes go back and forth, exchanging blows despite all having the same goal. When Tony first enters the scene, he smacks straight into Thor and takes him away from Loki, and then the two have a fun little exchange. "You have no idea what you're dealing with," Thor tells him.
"Shakespeare in the Park? Doth Mother know you wear-eth her drapes?" Tony says with his best faux British accent. The comment is a clever jab at Thor's ridiculous red cape, which, while comic book accurate, sometimes looks a little funny in the MCU films — especially earlier ones. Thor comes back, calling Tony "metal man," and the two start going at it once again.
"That man is playing Galaga ... thought we wouldn't notice ... but we did"
Marvel Studios/Disney
A throwaway line somehow became one of the funniest quotes in the first "Avengers" team-up film. Once the whole team has assembled on the Helicarrier after Thor, Captain America, and Iron Man capture Loki (Tom Hiddleston), they size one another up. Tony Stark enters the bullpen last and cuts into the conversation, boasting his knowledge about iridium.
When he makes his way to the center of mission control, he blurts out some nonsensical phrases as if he's in charge, then points to a SHIELD employee off-screen. "That man is playing Galaga ... thought we wouldn't notice ... but we did." He then goes back to talking about what Loki needs, and the moment is over. However, it becomes even funnier at the end of the scene when the team leaves, and we cut to said employee, who waits for the all-clear before Galaga pops up on his screen again.
"I don't care. He killed my mom"
Marvel Studios/Disney
What a total gut-punch is "Captain America: Civil War." Peggy (Sharon Carter) dies, King T'Chaka (John Kani) dies, we watch Howard and Maria Stark die on tape, and a lot of other people come very close to dying. Easily the toughest scene to watch is the 2-on-1 battle between Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, and Bucky Barnes. Once in Siberia, Tony learns by watching a video that Bucky murdered his parents, and the ensuing fight is one of the best sequences ever in the MCU.
There is a substantial back-and-forth between the three men, and as much as Steve tries to help his friend escape, Tony's rage prevents it from happening. When things settle down for a brief moment as the group tries to catch their breath, Steve tells Tony, "This isn't gonna change what happened." "I don't care. He killed my mom," Tony responds.
"Better clench up, Legolas"
Marvel Studios/Disney
A classic line that's easily missed comes during the Battle of New York in "The Avengers." After the superhero team has their 360-degree-shot moment, Tony tells Cap to call out orders to the rest of the team. Steve tells Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) to get on a nearby roof to call out the patterns and strays of the Chitarui. He also tells Tony to keep the army contained in a three-block perimeter and turn anything to ash that exits that radius.
Once the duo has their directives, Clint asks Iron Man for a lift. "Better clench up, Legolas," Tony quips, referring to the "Lord of the Rings" elf and Hawkeye's penchant for using a bow and arrow. It's a slightly muffled quote due to it coming from behind Tony's mask, and you might have missed it on your first watch. Nevertheless, it's absolutely hilarious, and it's no surprise Tony uses a nickname for one of his Avengers pals. Earlier in the film, he refers to Thor as "Point Break," for his long blonde hair.
"Dude, you're embarrassing me in front of the wizards"
Marvel Studios/Disney
Once it's evident to Ebony Maw that Doctor Strange isn't going to give up the Time Stone, he prompts Cull Obsidian to end the charade and get it. When Tony sees the gigantic baddie coming toward them, he asks Bruce Banner if he wants a piece. The scientist tries to summon the Hulk, but he can't. His neck starts to turn green as he strains and groans, but he stays in human form.
As Bruce continues yelling and clenching his fists, Tony gives him a side-eye glance and says, "Dude, you're embarrassing me in front of the wizards." Once he realizes Hulk won't be making an appearance, Tony activates his nanotech, and he's in his Iron Man suit within seconds, ready to take on Cull Obsidian. This won't be the last time he refers to Doctor Strange and Wong as wizards, as he does it just a few minutes later when Peter Parker (Tom Holland) asks who these bad guys are. "He's from space, and he came here to steal a necklace from a wizard," he says.
"We have a Hulk"
Marvel Studios/Disney
During Loki and Tony's conversation in Stark Tower, the latter lists off all the Avengers and why they're so dangerous. He calls Clint and Natasha "master assassins," and refers to Thor as a "demigod." Even though he has some tense moments with Steve throughout the movie, Tony calls Steve "a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend." He also refers to Bruce, saying he's a man "with breathtaking anger management issues." Despite the team being separated at this point, Tony notes that they're going to come, and they'll be after Loki.
"I have an army," the Asgardian replies. "We have a Hulk," Tony responds. The immediate response makes this line hit harder, and what's best is that it has a full circle moment in "Avengers: Infinity War." When Loki tries to trick Thanos aboard the Asgardian ship, he repeats the line to the Mad Titan. It's here that the Hulk comes barreling in for a one-on-one with Thanos, but it's Loki's quote that makes the scene so memorable.
"So was I"
Marvel Studios/Disney
Shortly after Tony's aforementioned "he killed my mom" line, Bucky gets the upper hand during their fight and almost snatches the arc reactor from Iron Man's chest. Tony responds by blowing off Bucky's vibranium arm and further knocks the wind out of him. It looks like the Winter Soldier might be down for the count before Steve saves the day.
After Tony delivers a pretty brutal beating to Bucky, he's about to deliver another serious blow before Cap blocks it with his shield. Steve then tells him, "He's my friend." Tony comes back with the devastating "So was I." It's three words. Three of the simplest words there are, but somehow it holds so much weight that it makes your stomach drop. It's as if all the Team Cap vs. Team Iron Man moments before this didn't even matter: This is when the civil war really starts.
"We're the Avengers, not the Prevengers, right"
Marvel Studios/Disney
When Tony is rescued by Captain Marvel (Brie Larson) as he and Nebula (Karen Gillan) drift along in space, he returns to Earth as a disgruntled man. He's so deeply hurt by losing to Thanos that he misdirects his anger at Cap (surprise!). Tony starts getting snarky and recalls the time Steve said if they'd lose, they'd lose together. He blames Cap for not being there and then spits out a line that's as funny as it is devastating.
"But that's what we do, right? Our best work after the fact. We're the Avengers? We're the 'A-vengers,' not the 'Pre-Vengers,'" Tony says as Rhodey (Don Cheadle) holds him back. It's funny how he pronounces the syllables in the words, but you're brought back down to Earth by the heavy truth that statement delivers. The Avengers normally come around to clean up the mess after the fact, and always seem to struggle with stopping the destruction in the first round.
"No amount of money ever bought a second of time"
Marvel Studios/Disney
In one of the MCU's most beautiful moments, Tony is able to speak to his father in the past. When Cap and Iron Man travel back to the '70s in order to get the Tesseract and some more Pym particles, Tony talks to his dad as an adult. He finds out his mom is actually pregnant with him at the time. The duo ends up exchanging advice with one another, but Tony gives his father the best tidbit.
"No amount of money ever bought a second of time," Tony tells Howard Stark (John Slattery) about parenting. It's actually not an original quote from Tony, as he's repeating a line his father said to him at one point. It's fun to see him give his dad the same advice his father will later give in the future. It's interesting because, if Tony never mentioned that line to his dad during the time heist, would Howard ever have said it in the future?
"I told you. I don't want to join your super secret boy band"
Marvel Studios/Disney+
While it isn't the most highly-praised Marvel Cinematic Universe film, "Iron Man 2" definitely has its moments. We meet Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson) for the first time, swap out one Rhodey for another, and get to enjoy some Sam Rockwell screen time. The movie also features Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson), who meets Tony at Randy's Donuts. After he calls Tony down from sitting in the iconic, giant donut display on top of the building, the pair sit down inside.
"I told you. I don't want to join your super-secret boy band," Tony says. It's not an easily discernible line, but it's one of the funniest in the film. This is the second time Tony and Fury meet, and Natasha also comes along for the occasion and discusses SHIELD. Fury first proposes the idea of a super team at the end of "Iron Man," but we see here in its sequel that Tony was receptive to that first proposal. It looks like he still doesn't want in, but thankfully we know things don't work out that way.
"If we can't protect the Earth, you can be damn well sure we'll avenge it"
Marvel Studios/Disney
"The Avengers" was quite the film for Iron Man, who had a handful of memorable quotes in it. Tony finds himself in the film and eventually puts his ego on the back burner to work with a team. He takes pride in the Avengers and champions his group when he has a one-on-one with Loki at the top of Stark Tower. As he tries to stall, Tony gives Loki a little speech about Earth's Mightiest Heroes, letting the Asgardian know he's messed with the wrong planet.
"There's no throne. There is no version of this where you come out on top," Tony tells Loki. "Maybe your army comes, and maybe it's too much for us, but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damn well sure we'll avenge it." The last line is delivered as Tony stares down Loki as if he's nothing. Loki feels it. The audience feels it. It's a truly powerful moment, and the most important thing about it all is that Tony believes it when he says it.
"It means get lost, Squidward"
Marvel Studios/Disney
After Tony Stark tells Ebony Maw that "Earth is closed today," and Doctor Strange backs it up, saying, "You're trespassing in this city and on this planet," he comes back with another stellar line. Within a split second of Doctor Strange finishing his line, Tony comes in hot with, "It means get lost, Squidward." If you were lucky enough to attend an opening-night showing of "Avengers: Infinity War," this is the point where your crowd probably lost it.
Tony's jab at Ebony Maw is so perfectly timed and on the money, making it one of his funniest lines ever in the MCU. It's impossible to look at the villain now without thinking of Squidward — of "SpongeBob SquarePants" fame — whose personality and likeness perfectly resembles the Thanos suck-up. As if this scene couldn't get any better, Tony follows his two hilarious quotes up with another, this time aimed at Bruce Banner.
"Part of the journey is the end"
Marvel Studios/Disney
Spoiler alert for all the non-MCU fans out there who somehow landed here: Iron Man dies in "Avengers: Endgame." (I know!) A pre-recorded hologram plays of Tony speaking to his friends at his funeral. This message serves as a formal goodbye to Tony's closest friends, as well as daughter Morgan (Lexi Rabe) and partner Pepper (Gwyneth Paltrow).
After talking about how the survivability of the time heist is low, Tony says, "Then again, that's the hero gig, right? Part of the journey is the end." When the first trailer for "Endgame" dropped, the second part of that quote was used in its opening. It suggested Tony wasn't going to make it off the stranded ship in space, and his journey was ending there. It's interesting to think about how we were fed one of the most important lines of dialogue in the film, which we had no idea was from Tony's funeral scene.
"Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist"
Marvel Studios/Disney
Iron Man and Captain America never really have an easygoing relationship. The heroes are on opposite sides of the spectrum when it comes to ideologies and how to handle things, and it's first hinted at in the original "Avengers." Before the attack on the helicarrier by a possessed Hawkeye, the five other heroes are in Banner's lab having another conversation about Loki. Things are tensest between Tony and Steve, as they take jabs at one another's strengths. Cap calls Tony a "big man in a suit of armor," then asks, "take that off, what are you?" "Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist," Tony quips back.
He's not the only one who believes what he's saying, though, as Natasha shrugs her shoulders in agreement and raises her eyebrows. Cap, naturally, isn't impressed, and says he "knows guys with none of that worth ten" of Tony. Their conversation gets deeper as the seconds tick on, and they almost come to fisticuffs before they're saved (from each other) when Hawkeye starts bombing the helicarrier.
"If you're nothing without the suit, then you shouldn't have it"
Sony Pictures/Marvel Studios
Iron Man played a supporting role in "Spider-Man: Homecoming," mostly as a mentor to Peter Parker. He definitely takes a backseat to the action in the film, but when it comes to the movie's dialogue, Tony might very well have the most important line. When Peter tells Tony that he's nothing without the suit, the Avenger has the best response: "If you're nothing without the suit, then you shouldn't have it."
This doesn't just apply to Peter, but to every superhero that's out there — no matter what comic-book history they hail from. This also applies to Tony. He has no superpowers without his suit, so what's underneath is just as important as what's on the outside. Peter is still a superperson without his uniform, so it was necessary for Tony to deliver this line to whip the whiny teenager into shape.
"Sometimes I want to punch you in your perfect teeth"
Marvel Studios/Disney
There really is no time in "Captain America: Civil War" when Tony and Steve see eye-to-eye. The immediate disagreement is over the Sokovia Accords, and when Steve refuses to sign, the team splits in half. When Steve, Bucky, Sam Wilson (Anthony Mackie), and T'Challa (Chadwick Boseman) are taken into custody, Tony has a one-on-one conversation with the former.
He tries to convince Cap to sign the accords, and the two have a rather tense back and forth. "If I see a situation pointed south, I can't ignore it. Sometimes I wish I could," the honorable Steve says. "No, you don't," Tony comes back. Steve agrees and again says, "Sometimes," before Tony cuts him off. "Sometimes I want to punch you in your perfect teeth. But I don't wanna see you gone." Tony's terse line was also used in the trailer for "Civil War," which always makes it hit harder when you see it in the movie.
"Isn't that the 'why we fight?' So we can end the fight. So we get to go home?"
Marvel Studios/Disney
Who would have thought? Our next quote comes from another tense conversation between Tony and Steve — these two really know how to bring out the best in one another. This meeting comes after the Avengers get their behinds handed to them after the second match-up with Ultron (James Spader). It's mostly Wanda Maximoff's (Elizabeth Olsen) mind-meddling that puts the team down for the count, so they retreat to the Barton family farm for some R&R.
Instead of worrying about a loose superbot, Tony and Steve decide to split some wood. While it's not the direct thrust of their angsty conversation, Steve still questions Tony over his creating Ultron. Iron Man defends what he did, saying, "Isn't that the 'why we fight?' So we can end the fight. So we get to go home?" While both men are essentially right here, this Tony line really makes you understand his inspiration behind the things that he does. He wants to protect the world, so people like him and Steve aren't needed.
"Like the old man said -- together"
Marvel Studios/Disney
When the Avengers are trying to assess the world of hurt they're in after Ultron's first attack, they realize the AI has (seemingly) killed Jarvis. Most of the team starts questioning why Tony's creation is trying to kill them, and he delivers a monologue defending himself. He reminds the team that he carried a nuke through a wormhole in New York City and cites how the new "endgame" is alien races spread throughout the universe. When Tony asks the team how they're planning on beating that threat, Cap says, "Together." When Tony comments, "We'll lose," Steve comes back and says, "Then we'll do that together, too."
This directly ties into another one of Tony's most memorable quotes. At the end of "Age of Ultron," the AI summons his entire army of robots. When Ultron asks the Avengers how they plan on stopping him, Iron Man says, "Like the old man said — together." It proves Tony takes the things Cap says seriously, and calling him "the old man" is a fun knock on his age.
"I mean, we won't know because we dropped a building on him while we were kicking ass"
Marvel Studios/Disney
We never get to meet Charles Spencer, but he has quite the impact on Tony. Charles died in Sokovia, where he elected to spend the summer building sustainable housing for those in need. His mom reveals this to Tony at an MIT event, and tells Iron Man that he murdered her son. Of course, this is all unintentional, but it reminds the viewers that while the Avengers save the day, there is always collateral damage that goes undiscussed. Tony decides to tell the team about Charles, and his delivery in doing so is spot on.
While the team is hanging out after the Sokovia Accords discussion at the Avengers compound, he pulls up a picture of Charles and introduces him to the group. "He wanted to make a difference, I suppose," Tony says. "We won't know because we dropped a building on him while we were kicking ass." The way he emphasizes the end of the sentence is in a sarcastic-cool way, taking a dig at himself and the team. The delivery is spot-on and is a testament to Robert Downey Jr.'s stellar acting choices. If the line was spoken in any other way, it's very likely it wouldn't have been as memorable as it is today.
"I love you 3,000"
Marvel Studios/Disney
While "Hey, Pep" might be his actual last line as a living person, Tony's last words ever in an MCU film are "I love you 3,000." This is specifically meant for Morgan, who says the line first to her father well before the time heist. Tony rubs it into Pepper's face that Morgan loves him "3,000" and suggests their daughter loves her less.
"I love you 3,000" became bigger than the movie itself, as fans of the MCU used the phrase to describe their feelings toward Robert Downey Jr. and Iron Man in general. After the movie, the quote trended on Twitter as fans thanked Downey for everything he did for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Marvel Studios adopted the phrase with a tweak and used the hashtag #WeLoveYou3000 to express gratitude to the fans of the MCU. It could be argued that "I love you 3,000" is one of the most recognized quotes ever out of the MCU.
Source: https://www.looper.com/736496/most-memorable-iron-man-quotes-in-the-mcu/
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